Gundog Guru Pillows

'You certainly know how to train gun dogs, Al.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Guru.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Kirsten Johnson

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Government and Opposition

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

OM, SWEET OM

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

The wave of immigration issues about to hit Obama's plan and the Supreme Court ruling.

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

Jerk Gene