Guide Gifts

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

''We're getting too far from shore,' I say. 'Trust me, I'm a professional,' he says.'

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

Blind eskimo being guided by a seal.

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"The guru us out. That's a link to Wikipedia."

"All the celebrities come here."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"So I said to the guide, wave your arms to distract him while I aim. Then my gun jammed."

"'Round these parts, you'd be plum crazy not to use a reliable search injun."

"I suppose you were expecting a robed, bearded bloke."

You are here.

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

"Booby Traps!"

'He's a good guide but it's hard to keep him focused.'

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

A hunter blaming moving grass for him missing a deer

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

The Vineyard

Tourists

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Now that's an afro!'

Culture Saturday