Guidebook Guru Gifts

Improving long term planning.

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Musical genres

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"All the celebrities come here."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Travel looks strong!

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

'You're looking in the wrong section.'

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

What it takes to be a leader.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

The Undeniable Spirit of Tourists

"Have you packed everything into your smartphone?"

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

Reality Wagon Train

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"I want to be a Jockey."

"As the owner of a hotel chain, I found being shipwrecked quite a challenge."

"I'll be happy to give you innovative thinking. What are the guidelines?"

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Everything's commercial these days."

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.