Guidelines Guru Gifts

"I'll be happy to give you innovative thinking. What are the guidelines?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

Flyfishing for dummies.

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"All the celebrities come here."

'Sorry I'm late everybody,I got lost.'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

"I'm referring you to a specialist."

Inventor of Morse Code

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

"I want to be a Jockey."

"Booby Traps!"

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

'We're looking for new, original thinkers...people who can think 'outside the box'...'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

"The guru us out. That's a link to Wikipedia."

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

"My philosophy is to sell advice not follow it!"

"Any other references besides your Mother?"