Tourist Guide Gifts

"Oh, how very French."

"This is nothing like the photo on Airbnb."

'Why can't we just say lingua franca in English?'

'Ici on parle Anglais'...'Ici on se rit de votre fran?ais.' ('We speak English here'...'We laugh at your French here')

The Antiquary

Here, There, Everywhere.

The Everest Experience: Cafe and Gift Shop

Tourists and their Pets.

Gecko Point.

'English?...do...you...speak...ENGLISH?'

"A large donation usually calms him down."

"It's soon to be listed in the National Register of Historic Military Holes in the Ground."

"Boy, you guys really aren't ready for the Olympics."

"Cynthia! Bridle your enthusiasm."

Try a tour of historic Venice in our traditional glass bottomed gondola.

Two men in a capsized canoe

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'So each year The Boat Race is between Oxford and Cambridge. Wow, that's a long way to row in just twenty minutes!'

Looking at You Are Here Map "How do they know?"

Statue of Liberty holding energy saving light bulb.

'Can you tell me where James Herriot lives?'

Cleaner at the world's biggest maze clearing out skeletons.

Tourist Information.

Visitor points out Tower of Pisa is leaning. Official replies, 'I think that's always how it's been'.

'...Do not feed the bears'

the guard

Multi-million pound visitor centre - 'To be honest, this is the only place in the city worth visiting'

"Wine? No - it eez mushy peas for our "English week.'"

Kraut Kontrol.

"You've got a vow of silence? How interesting! Tell me all about that!"

Up North Training

Exploitation in tourism

Model Village

"Not much is known about them. They apparently, had a highly advanced, thriving civilization. Then one August, everyone left the city and never returned."

"Look at the picture I took of the thing we're looking at."