Guardians Of Grandeur Gifts

The Bearskin Hat Family

"He likes it."

Deaths from Coronavirus

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Bleak House

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Only very few of the lumbering giants relied on speed...

"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

'Now Dad, don't you start your chest-thumping! I'm going out and that's it!'

"If you connect the measles, it spells out 'My parents are idiots.'"

"I can't keep track of him, but I trust Google can."

'Billy, stop that'

Firemen catching a gargoyle falling from a burning building

"... So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that your school is downsizing and they had to make you redundant?"