Admirers Of Grandeur Gifts

'On this stage tonight, The First Lady, The Princess, The Empress, The Maharani and The Mother Superior of country music!'

Piranhaclaus

The Bearskin Hat Family

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

Leonardo's first drawing

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

Candle Moment

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

'Where do you get your ideas from?'

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'We were matched by computer.'

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

Alan Turing

'I just love this new ring tone.'

'Trapped I am afraid in the rut of originality.'

Arctic Caravan Breaks

Paul Bunyon, Castaway

Einstein's most embarrassing moment

'No, I don't do much flying. I'm just here for the peanuts!'

'Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...'

"So you see, even greed has its rewards."

Olympic Rings

'I wanted to be a fighter pilot. But I'm colour blind. What can you do?'

The 'little old lady who lived in a shoe' fairy tale ends when the giants return.

Subway BC

Maternal Instinct: The Hatcher: "Tis an unusual kind of egg, no doubt, but thank Heaven it is still warm, and I feel the throb of young life within."

Seal wondering whether it will ever get the trick right.

Helicopter weighed down by ball and chain

Genghis Khan

I know they run sideways, but does it have to stare at me the whole time?

Food thoughts

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

Thomas Edison's brother, Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.

'You've still got it!'