Admirers Of Grandeur T-Shirts

'On this stage tonight, The First Lady, The Princess, The Empress, The Maharani and The Mother Superior of country music!'

Piranhaclaus

The Bearskin Hat Family

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

Leonardo's first drawing

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

Candle Moment

'Where do you get your ideas from?'

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

"Is it too much to ask for you to just act paranormal for once?"

'We were matched by computer.'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Trapped I am afraid in the rut of originality.'

'I just love this new ring tone.'

Alan Turing

Einstein's most embarrassing moment

Arctic Caravan Breaks

Paul Bunyon, Castaway

Olympic Rings

"So you see, even greed has its rewards."

'Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...'

'I wanted to be a fighter pilot. But I'm colour blind. What can you do?'

Maternal Instinct: The Hatcher: "Tis an unusual kind of egg, no doubt, but thank Heaven it is still warm, and I feel the throb of young life within."

The 'little old lady who lived in a shoe' fairy tale ends when the giants return.

Subway BC

Helicopter weighed down by ball and chain

Seal wondering whether it will ever get the trick right.

Genghis Khan

'How many frequent flyer points do you have?'

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

Food thoughts

'Of course you realize my gold crown adds a lot to my weight.'

Thomas Edison's brother, Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.