Grumpy Riser Gifts

Morgenmuffel

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Old Man Journal

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

Moanathon.

Grumpy Old Men

"Dang it."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'My body is a temple. A temple full of fat people.'

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

'Good Morning!'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'FQ...?'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'No.'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

Pissed-off hour.

Moan Pig.

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

'Not now - I'm under a lot of atmospheric pressure.'

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

Ex-hippie-now-staunch-Republican Herb Miller's freak flag keeps on flying, much to his chagrin.