Grumpy Gifter Gifts

Christmas - Let's get it over with.

Another day at work would be one too many...

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Bagel problems.

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Shop for cats

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

'That pretty much kills my appendicitis diagnosis.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Grumpy Old Men

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

'Sunnyside down.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

Make Your Own

"Stop moaning - you'll ruin our weekend away..."

'FQ...?'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

The three wise cats were bearing slightly less practical gifts.

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'No.'

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

The Golden Book of Lying & Cheating

"No more cross buns for you!"

Moan Pig.