Graceful Gifter Gifts

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Grace For Flies

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

Valentines Balloons

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'And that,and that,and that...'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

Saying Grace.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

How the gift registry should really work

A feminist Christmas.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

Santa's Out Tray.

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

Bagel problems.