Graceful Gifter Gifts

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Grace For Flies

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

Saying Grace.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

How the gift registry should really work

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

Bagel problems.

Seasonal shopping.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'