Grace Giver Gifts

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Saying Grace.

Grace For Flies

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

New life (organ donation)

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Thank you

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

Santa's Out Tray.

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

It's the thought that counts!