Grace Givers Gifts

'No, we said it yesterday. This is leftovers.'

"Well, I'm saying grace. Everyone feel free to chew along."

Grace For Flies

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

Emotional Support Pest

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

Saying Grace.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

It's the thought that counts!

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'