Grace Givers Gifts

'No, we said it yesterday. This is leftovers.'

"Well, I'm saying grace. Everyone feel free to chew along."

Grace For Flies

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Love.

Emotional Support Pest

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

Saying Grace.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

It's the thought that counts!

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'