Grocery Gambler Gifts

One-Stop Shopping. Illegal. Immoral. Fattening.

'A SURPRISE dish? Have you been buying tins with no labels on 'em again?'

Little league world series of poker.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"What do you recommend today?"

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Eye of Newt Helper

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

"I need one of them and one of them..."

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

GM Foods - Bananas singing, "Oh yes we are all bananas......"

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

Woman has man in shopping trolley

"I'm afraid you can't speak to the Chef at the moment, sir. He's out, buying you a, 'get well soon' card."

Do me a favor - don

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

'We've had our starter and to follow we'd like to order an ambulance!'

"I said bring back a tin o'tuna, you big dope!"

Snacks, Condiments, Necessary Evils.

Animal Crackers. It says, "Expiration date: Cats - Oct., 2017. Dogs - April, 2019. Tortoises - Jan., 2070".

'Oh that's actually for here, not to go.'

'First Aid Aisle and Scissor Aisle - No Running.'

Bet and Breakfast.

"OK, I've led you down the aisle. Can we have sex now?"