Gastronomy Gambler Gifts

"What do you recommend today?"

Little league world series of poker.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

'You had to go for a walk--now we've lost our table.'

'Two pair ain't gonna cut it, Joseph. I've got three kings.'

"Let's flip for it, heads I win, tails, you lose."

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

Break Bread, Not Wind.

"I'm afraid you can't speak to the Chef at the moment, sir. He's out, buying you a, 'get well soon' card."

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked

Monday. Restaurant. Daily special. Steak. Tuesday. Hamburger. Wednesday. Homestyle meatloaf. Thursday. I know this is your favorite restaurant, and I guess it's okay to eat here again today ... but tomorrow we'll probably need to find someplace else to eat! Daily special. Cream of meatloaf soup.

"This smells really funny. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

'Twas the night after Christmas.

'Let's make a quick stop in Vegas and blame it on an unruly passenger.'

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

'Then you were mis-informed Sir, all Quail are that big.'

'We've had our starter and to follow we'd like to order an ambulance!'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'Whoever's guess is closest to the time when the last needle falls off the tree wins the hundred-dollar pool!'

Ethel regretted having natural gas installed.

The chef's special is roast goose with glazed pears, prepared while drinking heavily and lashing out at loved ones.

'What am I going to do now that I've won the lottery? Stay in the contracting until it runs out.'