Lifestyle Gambler Gifts

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Little league world series of poker.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"What do you recommend today?"

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

The world at stake...

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

'He's a high stakes player - I mean he married her.'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

"In the ring, kid. We want you to take a fall in the ring."

"I'm afraid you can't speak to the Chef at the moment, sir. He's out, buying you a, 'get well soon' card."

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

Wedding Coin Tosser

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

'Let's make a quick stop in Vegas and blame it on an unruly passenger.'

"I'm going to the house what England winning the World Cup, luckily the house doesn't belong to me."

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

"I'm off early, hoping to spend a quiet evening with the kids."

How to win the Lottery. - Scratch 'n' read edition.

'We've had our starter and to follow we'd like to order an ambulance!'

'He's a plumber, yet you bet him he couldn't break 100, using a plunger as his putter?'

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

'I was placed under house arrest for not doing housework.'

Bet and Breakfast.

I was dead lucky at the races yesterday, I forgot my wallet at home!

'I know we lost 5-0. I'm happy because I bet £100 on the other side to win!'