Love Gambler Gifts

Sporting Event - A Record - She won the sweep!

'He's a high stakes player - I mean he married her.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

Tightrope Walk of Romance

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

Busy man at his desk is given roses to smell as a Valentine's Day gift.

'You had to go for a walk--now we've lost our table.'

An affair to remember.

'Two pair ain't gonna cut it, Joseph. I've got three kings.'

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

European Space Agency.

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

A woman in her underwear slam dunks hearts into a basketball hoop.

Wedding Coin Tosser

"I'm afraid you can't speak to the Chef at the moment, sir. He's out, buying you a, 'get well soon' card."

"Rats! It's already tenderized."

'We've had our starter and to follow we'd like to order an ambulance!'

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

IRS AUDIT DIVISION, 'Want to make it double or nothing?'

'Is that a roll of pound coins?'

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

I was dead lucky at the races yesterday, I forgot my wallet at home!

'These shooting sticks are not very comfortable!'

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

'It's just not your lucky night I guess - saaaay, hows about we deal fer what's in the sack big guy?!'

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"I lost my wife."

'It's a fight between me and the world,' - 'I'll have a twenty on the world,'