Grocery Aisles Guru Gifts

Produce. I always feel bad about separating bananas at the supermarket. you shouldn't, Ernie -- Bananas aren't sentimental.

Domestic Superheroes!!

Twenty-first century baby walker

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Unusual Offers

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Try our new genetically engineered produce.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Self-Checkout.

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Low Hanging Fruit

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs