Gridlock Gladiator Gifts

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

Traffic - is there a way out?

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

Rage.

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

Football Blockers.

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

You Don't Know What It's Like

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

SNOW WARS: The fight-back

'If you wanted me to be cooperative, why did you appoint a lawyer for me?'

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

"Is it me or is the commute to work getting worse?"