Garage Gladiator Gifts

Crashing into the garage.

"Mr. Rod, my dad wants to clean the garage tomorrow...and he needs me to pack boxes and haul tons of stuff. It'll probably take all day!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Prize vegetables.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Punishment for the kicker.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

The rat race

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

Human males marking territory.