Problem Gladiator Gifts

Man Juggling Problems

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Waiting for the results.

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

Football Blockers.

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

"Yes, it's report card time again."

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

You Don't Know What It's Like

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Learning percentages has made me realize there's a 50% chance I'll flunk math."

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

SNOW WARS: The fight-back