Gaming Gladiator Gifts

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

"I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business engaging in combat."

Leaning tower of pizza boxes.

Rage.

"Our digital assault will leave you at our mercy!"

"You're very non-competitive. I like that in a brother."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Punishment for the kicker.

Football.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

Football Blockers.

'It's one of those viruses that corrupt every damn thing.'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

Roman Emperor using a glad-hand in an amphitheater

Audiences at the coliseum were down after health and safety had paid a visit.

Why the Romans stopped serving alcohol at sporting events.

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'