Virtual Gladiator Gifts

Duel to the Death...

Rage.

"I feel your pain."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

American Football.

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Indoor Football

Punishment for the kicker.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'You've been on that Video Game all Day. Go outside and play.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'Don't you miss the thrill of the chase?'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Football Blockers.

'These online fantasy worlds are great fun. I can be ‘Dave the Accountant' from Birmingham.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

You Don't Know What It's Like