Online Gladiator Gifts

Social Media Attacks.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I feel your pain."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Football Blockers.

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

Power Point Hell

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

You Don't Know What It's Like

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

'If you want to play in this league, Wilson, you've got to learn to play with pain!'

'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'

"Looks like mum's preparing to go on social media."

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'