Game Gladiator Gifts

'I warned you to stay out of those flame wars!'

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Bad for you but to die for

"I feel your pain."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Punishment for the kicker.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Football Blockers.

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

Roman Emperor using a glad-hand in an amphitheater

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

Audiences at the coliseum were down after health and safety had paid a visit.

You Don't Know What It's Like

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

Why the Romans stopped serving alcohol at sporting events.

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'