Gavel Gladiator Gifts

Loopholes - "That's our legal department."

'If you wanted me to be cooperative, why did you appoint a lawyer for me?'

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Everything's gone up."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Justice 4 Ron

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

'He has some unresolved issues.'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten! (Published previously September 25, 2006.)

Other than a high chair, what qualifies you to sit in judgment? A lethal gavel.

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"Overruled!"

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

Must you be so judgmental?

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."