Gavel Juggler Gifts

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Travelling

Football

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Opening the Barrel

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

A woman watches football on her computer.

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Balanced Diet"

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Shops Shops Shops - 'I've just remembered! We came here to catch a flight!'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Our new product has increased growth in our legal department.'

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

'I predict they go with an insanity defense.'

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

"Now tell me your legal problem very slowly, with every detail, no matter how irrelevant. Feel free to digress, babble and, especially, backtrack."

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

I could only get a settlement of £50,000 and you get some of it.

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

"Anytime you need a sherpa, you can't find one."

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

'If you wanted me to be cooperative, why did you appoint a lawyer for me?'