Gavel Giggler Gifts

Must I also sing and dance?

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Surely not guilty. Next case."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'We had this one dyed especially for you, Your Honor.'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Clown God

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

2pm meet your Creator

"The cookies are always stale."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

I am one with stupid.

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

Black Hole Corks

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'Whoops!'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'