Gavel Giggler Prints

Must I also sing and dance?

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Surely not guilty. Next case."

You're making a mockery of justice, your honor. That's my turf! ! !

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'We had this one dyed especially for you, Your Honor.'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Clown God

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

2pm meet your Creator

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

I am one with stupid.

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"The cookies are always stale."

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

Black Hole Corks

"What kind of mileage does it get?"

'Whoops!'

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."