Garden Gladiator Gifts

"Aphids on the heliotrope!"

Biker Lawn Mower

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Trench-digging job

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

"I finally won my battle against those little aphids that crawl all over my squash!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'And I say it's YOUR job to weed the window box!'

Matador face to face with a Toro lawnmower.

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'

Prize vegetables.

Human males marking territory.

'Six: Grip steering wheel tightly.'

July: Drought in the garden can be a serious problem this month.

This had the potential to get really nasty...

"Call a professional."

Top Dressing

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"Everything's gone up."

'The grudge match.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Football.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."