Gardening Gladiator Gifts

"I need one louder than the one my neighbor's got."

Death with a strimmer (weed whacker)

Prize vegetables.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'The grudge match.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

Biker Lawn Mower

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Punishment for the kicker.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"I warned you before you bought it, John, that the plant is aggressive!"

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Human males marking territory.

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

Football Blockers.

'Gentlemen--- choose your Pistils!' THE DUEL OF THE FLORISTS.

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"