Grassland Humorist Gifts

'For what we are about to receive...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

A sure sign of rain

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

I fart more than that!

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

A Venus cow trap.

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Static cling."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'