Woodland Humorist Gifts

What do you mean 'Hunting insurance is only for those DOING the hunting'?!

Seasoned firewood

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

I fart more than that!

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'Pray for me.'

A Venus cow trap.

Giraffe Portrait

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Crow and fox

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The Sensitive Dude.

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...