Woodland Humorist Gifts

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

What do you mean 'Hunting insurance is only for those DOING the hunting'?!

Seasoned firewood

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

I fart more than that!

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Pray for me.'

A Venus cow trap.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Giraffe Portrait

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

Crow and fox

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

The Sensitive Dude.

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'