Western Humorist Gifts

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'To Jake's horror, his trigger finger was otherwise occupied when he was called upon to draw'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

"You ain't from around here, are you, Mister?"

"Rider's block."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

Cowboys pitching horseshoes and horses pitching cowboy boots.

Wearing Lipstick In A Gun Belt.

'Whoa, just who says 'They shoot horses?''

In an effort to be friendly, Abe unwittingly seals his fate.

'I've been playing smoke-tag all day.'

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Cattlemans Saloon.

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Giddyup."

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's looking' all over for ya.'

"Nothing like a snow zombie."