Old West Humorist Gifts

"He says he's on the wagon train"

TV Guide: Cowboy Cowboys.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

History of Cartooning.

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Trepanning for gold"

"Giddyup."

Reality Wagon Train

"There's trouble, boys. Let's pants up and move out!"

'Yesterday he was a kingpin, but today he's just a lynchpin.'

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'I must warn you, I'm the fastest gun west of the Rie Grande.' 'WOW! Unfortunately, we're five miles east of the Rio Grande.'

Wanted for Stick Up

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's looking' all over for ya.'

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

'Hey you two! Take that outside!'

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

'Uh, yeah, you go ahead. We'll catch up with the wagon train later.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"