Western Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

"Giddyup."

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'The sheriff tells everyone to get out of town - his wife owns the travel agency.'

Wanted for Stick Up

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Sergio Leone

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"Let me guess - PPI refunds, double glazing or, a tele-sales survey?"

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

Cowboy on barstool with stirrups.

Birth of the Western.