Western Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'Now that you're hired, our Housing Coordinator will show you to the bunkhouse.'

"Quit saying 'President Trump'. You're spookin' the horses."

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'It's what we were afraid of, Virgil. Someone's selling guns to the Indians.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'The sheriff tells everyone to get out of town - his wife owns the travel agency.'

"When I said, 'Never bring a knife to a gunfight,' I figured the spoon and fork were also implied."

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

Wanted for Stick Up

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

"And don't ever try to use your smartphone during trivia night again!"

"Let me guess - PPI refunds, double glazing or, a tele-sales survey?"

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

'Amazing what you can do on photo-shop - that doesn't look anything like him!'

'Good of you to rustle us up some fire wood, Bat.'

Birth of the Western.