Western Humor Lover Pillows

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

Notice: All cowboys must shake off dust by hitting clothes with hat.

"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Bed Bath & Younder

"The mosquitoes are coming!"

'You can stay, but get your ass out of town!'

"I said. . . can I use your restroom?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"Giddyup."

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

Wanted for Stick Up

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

"It's been a struggle for Carlos to adjust to rural life, but now he's finally been accepted as the village idiot."

Dang prairie dogs!

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

'I'm not packing - This is my BlackBerry.'

"He's doing a mojor renovation from bad guy to good guy."