Western Comedy Fan Gifts

Roy couldn't understand why no-one would use his services.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Nun Fight.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

'Mama! Aliens.'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

'If we survive this, you are totally walking home.'

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

"The kid meant nothin' by it Zeke... a lot of young 'uns put a fancy love-heart pattern on a caffe latte."

Uh-oh!

'They say he came to clean up the town.'

Jesse wished the kids would just get it over with and guess all the wrong letters in his name.

Early abductions.

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

Western Philosophy

Bunfight at the O.K. Corral

"You're wearing it backwards."

"Hey, I'm sure glad we re-opened the downtown mall with this new road."

Wanted for Stick Up

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'