Western Humor Buff Gifts

Wanted for Stick Up

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"Giddyup."

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's looking' all over for ya.'

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

Dang prairie dogs!

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

'Hey partner, you're building your brand with stolen content.'

'I'm not packing - This is my BlackBerry.'

"Yeah, but I'm sick of the glitter getting all over everything."

"He's doing a mojor renovation from bad guy to good guy."

'Whoa, just who says 'They shoot horses?''

"Which of you is 'Cactus Jack'?"

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's been lookin' all over for ya.'

Evacuation Route.

'Yes, I am looking for an experienced cattleman.'

'Pa will be right back. He's in the media room, downloading some more homespun wisdom.'