Gangland Humorist Gifts

'A bone? Nah, he's burried the rival gang's dog.'

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Newt sale

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

A cow's bedside table.

'Serves me right for frowning.'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

'3 pints of lager, 2 gin and tonic, 1 vodka and coke and a replacement liver.'

I'm a Smart-Cow!

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."