Gangland Humorist Pillows

'A bone? Nah, he's burried the rival gang's dog.'

Newt sale

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

That's one harmonious butt hole!

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'Serves me right for frowning.'

A cow's bedside table.

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

When Bob stopped bragging about the economic benefits of his conestoga rickshaw.

Look, I'm not shocked. It's just that you sounded a bit different on the phone!

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"He's worth quite a bit of money but it's all tied up in semen.''