Grassland Humorist Pillows

'For what we are about to receive...'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

I fart more than that!

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

A Venus cow trap.

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'