Grass-fed Comedian Pillows

Motorherd

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

Where's my global warming?

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

Snowman carrot substitute.

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Tropical Cow Tank

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

A centi-stampede.

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

"Ugh, I hate it when the stampede stops to do 'the wave.'"

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

This one needs re-booting!

Farm Humor.

Botox!

Nervous Chicken in the maternity ward.

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

'For what we are about to receive...'