Agri-comedian Pillows

"Why are you ploughing with a steam roller?" "I'm growing mashed potatoes."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Hey Sally, do these new capris make me look pretentious?'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

The Mongolian Steps Slinky Cows.

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'