Witchcraft Humorist Gifts

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

Patrolman writes ticket for witch's broom parked illegally.

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

'I asked the Grendal family to show me a dish served with white wine. . .'

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Newt sale

"Here we are."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'One eye of newt or two?'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Late BroomStick

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'Needs salt!'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Rocking Witches.

"I said slime."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

100% carbon neutral

Astral Projection

"It's probably just seasonal."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Rocket and Witch Race

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

Witch's Brew.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Devi's brew?"