Witchcraft Humorist Gifts

'I tell you, dad, Miss Hamilton is a witch!'

Patrolman writes ticket for witch's broom parked illegally.

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

'I asked the Grendal family to show me a dish served with white wine. . .'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Newt sale

"Here we are."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'One eye of newt or two?'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

Late BroomStick

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Rocking Witches.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I said slime."

100% carbon neutral

Rocket and Witch Race

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

"It's probably just seasonal."

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

"Devi's brew?"

'Take two eyes of newt, and call me in the morning.'

Witch's Brew.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"