Witchcraft Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

The Wicked Witch of the Southwest

"Hi, its me, I'm on the broom"

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

'I'm so proud to be part of a profession that has never discriminated against women.'

'We really need to upgrade our Pharmacy!'

'I can't do next Friday'

Traffic Cone Monsters

'Oh great. Now the FDA is regulating safety coated caplets of eyes of newt.'

"Does this poison smell weird to you?"

'I don't care if you only need the eye. You'll have to buy the whole newt!'

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'One eye of newt or two?'

Halloween health & safety.

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

"There's no rest for the wicked."

'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

Don't text while flying.

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

'Hepzibah, I'm getting out There's just no money in being a witch.'

A Quartet of Witches

'What's your poison?'

'With people already so tense and jumpy these days, Halloween isn't much fun anymore!'

Do people hate us because we dress this way, or do we dress this way because people hate us?

"War of bat, tail of dog. Leg of horse, head of fro...Let's just phone for a pizza."

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'

'Wouldn't it make more sense to stick the needles directly into your enemy?'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

'...And just a pince of stem cells.'

Bay Witch

Witch hangs her robes on her broomstick while she goes for a swim.

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"We're cooking the books."