Witchcraft Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

"Hi, its me, I'm on the broom"

The Wicked Witch of the Southwest

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

'My name is Helda, and I have a tendency to fly off the handle.'

'I'm so proud to be part of a profession that has never discriminated against women.'

'I can't do next Friday'

'We really need to upgrade our Pharmacy!'

'Oh great. Now the FDA is regulating safety coated caplets of eyes of newt.'

Traffic Cone Monsters

'I don't care if you only need the eye. You'll have to buy the whole newt!'

"Does this poison smell weird to you?"

Halloween health & safety.

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'One eye of newt or two?'

Don't text while flying.

"There's no rest for the wicked."

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

"War of bat, tail of dog. Leg of horse, head of fro...Let's just phone for a pizza."

'With people already so tense and jumpy these days, Halloween isn't much fun anymore!'

'I'm running a little behind. I got rear-ended.'

Do people hate us because we dress this way, or do we dress this way because people hate us?

'...And just a pince of stem cells.'

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'

A Quartet of Witches

'What's your poison?'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Bay Witch

'Wouldn't it make more sense to stick the needles directly into your enemy?'

'Hepzibah, I'm getting out There's just no money in being a witch.'

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

Witch hangs her robes on her broomstick while she goes for a swim.