Grape Juice Giggler Gifts

Wino Appreciation Group

The Busy Gardener

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

The Main Types of Cheese

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

Yard Sale

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."