Gourmet Grazer Gifts

Home Vending Machine.

In The Olive Garden, we harvest bread sticks year round.

'Oof.'

"No, thank you. I'd prefer seeing a menu from the restaurant across the street."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

Beach Barbecue

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Queen of Quinoa

Tarzan of the Grapes.

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

'Whatever he's eating.'

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'