Gourmet Gourmet Gifts

'What's wrong with this hamburger? It tastes good for a change.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

LAY ZEE FUK

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Cookbooks

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"